Monday, September 17, 2007

CUTTING ROOM FLOOR


When putting together Your Round: Stout, i thought of putting in a 2 page story at the end. It's something that happened in my teens with a good old friend of mine, when he tried chatting up a friend of my then-girlfriend. It remains one of the funniest things that i can remember and thought it'd make a great little 2 page gag. However, it's gotten lackluster feedback and the decision to drop it from the issue has been made. So, i thought i'd post it since it won't see print. Let me know what ye think of it. I'm biased, so i can't tell if it's good or not.














































Dec.

8 comments:

Stephen Mooney said...

You're really dropping it? Didn't think it was THAT bad...

Declan Shalvey said...

Exactly. THAT bad. which means it's bad. James, my co-editor, pretty much hated it.

Unknown said...

Art-wise it's lovely but big punchline endings are hugely difficult to pull off - in truth it might have worked better as a three-panel comic strip.

Anonymous said...

Hey Dec,

I think the story is funnier when you know those invloved & the way they talk etc (and i do). As a story i've heard you tell it's hilarous but in the absense of drink & knowing those involved i can see why a neutral observer might not share your views.

Just a thought, but would it improve matters to take some artistic license & add a witty comeback from "Joey" or showing the rest of the lads taking the piss outa tony, even in the background laughing after he says it or something ? But what do i know ? Liked the strip though, Great to see a story i've heard brought to life . . well in comic form anyway !

Keep up the good work,

Sean

Anonymous said...

ask me about richard,nikki and the frog flannel,one day...

Fran Johnston said...

Hey Dec, Nice blog.well updated.unlike mine.but I'm tryin.that's hilarious. wish I had the balls to crack out lines like that. do you mind if I stick a link to your blog on mine?

Declan Shalvey said...

Thanks Andy, you too Séan,

Sound Fran, of course i don't mind. Allow me to recipricatr by doing the same. Yeah i try to update every day if i can. I'll miss the odd couple of days tho. Depends how busy i am.

Anonymous said...

Ah dude it can be salvaged/shalvaged. How about he tries to break with the line 'a Bindi huh?...So that's where the little red dot is....you know how Indians get them?' he asks

'No' says she.

He starts jabbing the air horizontally with a finger 'Get off the bus you filthy Punjab!!!'

Written by not Bob Byrne